Constipation

Constipation

Not the most glamorous of subjects, I know, but sometimes needs must. Funny to think even cancer has themes that are less than popular than others.  And constipation is definitely one of these.

I've been chugging down various painkillers for a few weeks now, happy as larry that I'm not getting headaches.  However, it has finally come to my attention that there is a price to pay for my pain-free existence.  And that price is a bunged up bum.

I can't remember exactly how many days I went without a satisfying turn-out, but it was over a week. Eventually, I decided I ought to do something to rectify the situation.  In the age-old manner, I thought I'd begin with some prunes.

I love prunes with a passion.  It may sound odd to you, but they seem like pudding to me, so I'm always happy to open a tin and get stuck in.  Well, last week I chugged half a tin with great glee, sat back and waited for the, er, fall-out.  Which didn't come.

The prunes tasted delish, but I was left sadly unsatisfied.

The next port of call was a liquid stool softener.  Tasted disgusting.  Didn't work.  I probably should have taken more than one dose, but just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Then yesterday, I brought on the big guns.  Another stool softener, in capsule form this time.  I spent the whole night lying awake trying to decide whether the murmurings in my belly were softening stools or something else.

Well, I can tell you now the stools didn't soften very much.

It was bloody agony.  Pinching off inch-long lengths of what seemed like brown plastic drainpipe, horribly unsatisfying.  I even resorted to a packet of baby wipes.

It reminded me of the great glee with which a lovely lady I met in the Bristol Oncology Centre clapped her hands and whooped.  "That's stripped me right out!"  She'd been chronically constipated for over 2 years - can you imagine her relief?

Anyway, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that I eventually managed a moderately satisfying dump.  Will keep you updated...